Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
