tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
