idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
