margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
