Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize