i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
