HIV tests are more positive than that guy
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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