We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Randomize
