Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
