I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
