High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
