last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize