Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
