I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm just crazy horny about you
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
