So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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