office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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