You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
