You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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