went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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