Only a mothe r could love this liver
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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