Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
