So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
