have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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