Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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