i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
