How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
