So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
