Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
