I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
