I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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