please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
