when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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