We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
