I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
