Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
