He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize