we have officially lost it.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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