I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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