So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
