Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
