I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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