I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
