Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
