East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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