people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
