We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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