It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You ate ashes out of my bong
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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