There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Oh god it's open bar.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
