He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
