The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize