We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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