i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
