Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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