So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
