Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
