idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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