Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
