Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
