I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
