How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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