so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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