Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
