Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Do vagina's smell?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
