Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
