there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
