Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
