butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize