So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I will pee on everything he values.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
