i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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