guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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