I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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